


Senses & Sensibilities

by 852_Prospect_Archivist



Category: The Sentinel
Genre: Crossovers: Other, Drama, M/M, crossovers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-10
Updated: 2013-05-10
Packaged: 2017-12-11 02:46:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,059
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/793169
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/852_Prospect_Archivist/pseuds/852_Prospect_Archivist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jim's senses go crazy, and he's not too happy with Blair's cure...<br/>This story is a sequel to power play, breaking the ice.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Senses & Sensibilities

**Author's Note:**

> A great huge big thank you to my beta, Bast, for doing her 

## Senses & Sensibilities 

by Daphna

Author's webpage: <http://www.geocities.com/athens/2642>

Author's disclaimer: Jim and Blair aren't mine, no infrigment intended, no money exchanged hands. 

River and Adrian ARE mine. If you ever feel an overwhelming need to use them (yeah, right) please ask first. 

job quickly and efficiantly. 

This is dedicated to Aaboe, who was waiting for it, and to all the senslashers who suffered through my writer's blocks and helped me out. 

feedback is welcome, to my e-mail. 

* * *

Blair washed the dishes and looked at Jim, sitting in the living room, with concern. It was unlike him to leave any part of his dinner uneaten. Something was wrong, and Blair had a nagging suspicion he knew what it was. He dried up the last plate and sat next to his lover. 

"What's the matter, Jim?" Blair asked quietly. 

"Nothing. What makes you think something's the matter?" 

"Oh, come on. I know you better than that. What's going on with you?" 

Silence. 

"Jim, please tell me. I want to be there for you. Is it the thing with the thief today? Because that doesn't matter. Nothing happened, and he was still caught. You don't always have to be a super-hero. Your senses freaked. It happens." Blair put his arm around Jim, offering comfort. 

"That's just it! It's not supposed to happen! I've had these senses for more than three years, and I still can't control them like I should be able to." Jim said harshly. 

"You don't know that. You don't know how fast or slow a Sentinel gets to control his senses. Maybe it takes a decade to get full control over them. We just have to keep working at it." 

"But we've been working at it for ages, and I'm just not feeling like we've made any process in the six months, maybe more than that, Chief." 

Blair smiled. "We've had other things on our minds." He said, pulling closer to Jim. 

"Oh yeah. That we have." Jim whispered, his lips touching Blair and his tongue seeking entrance to Blair's mouth. 

* * *

A few days later 

Blair marked a page in the book he was reading, gathered his papers and left his office, excited with his new theory. He started to lock the door, then rethought it and went back in. It would be impossible to talk to Jim at the bullpen. He picked up the phone and hit the first speed-dial button. 

"Ellison here." 

"Hey love." Blair said. "I was thinking, do you have time to meet me for lunch?" 

"That depends. I will if you promise to come and help me with the paperwork afterwards." Jim said, and Blair could hear the smile. He paused, pretending to weigh the issue carefully, and then said 

"Deal. Does Thai sound good?" 

"Great. The new place?" 

"Yeah. Meet you there in, say, 30 minutes?" 

"OK. Love you." Jim concluded. 

"Love you too." Blair hung up and smiled. Now if he could only convince Jim to take up his idea, everything would be fine. 

He locked up the office and sweet-talked his car into making the trip to the restaurant in one piece. The blue and white truck was already parked outside when he got there. He parked the car, and went through his papers for the relevant ones. 

When he walked in, Jim was already settled and ordering. 

"Hey, what's with all the papers?" Jim asked. "I thought the whole idea of lunch was NOT working." 

"Umm... I may have mislead you about that. See, I've been doing some research and some thinking, and I think I may have figured out your problem." 

"My problem?" Jim asked, his face growing a little darker. 

"Yeah, you know, the senses thing. Not being able to control them like you think you should." Blair said. " Well, actually this is more of a theory than something really concrete, but I say it's worth a shot." 

"And what's your theory?" Jim said, thinking that as much as he loved Blair, there were some things to be said against his energy-ball-excited-anthropologist state. Well, some definite things to be said for it, as well, Jim had to admit. 

"I was thinking, maybe your senses are still growing." 

"What?" 

"Yeah. But you know you can control them as they are, and you're scared of letting them grow any further, because they might go out of your control completely, so you're sort of not quite using their full potential or something. Subconsciously, of course. And then when you do try to use them, they DO spin out of your control, because you haven't made any conscious attempt to control them." 

"OK, assuming I understood anything from what you just said, what do we do?" Jim said, biting into a lump of Thai Noodles that had just been placed on their table. 

"Em... How are your noodles?" Blair asked. He had an idea to solve the problem, he just wasn't sure Jim would like it. In fact, he was pretty sure Jim wouldn't like it. 

"Good. Why are you stalling?" Jim asked. 

"I'm not stalling." I'm just trying to think of the right way to say it, Blair thought. "I was just being courteous." was what he said. 

"Oh. Is that why your heartbeat is going like a race-horse?" Jim said amiably. 

"Ok, ok. Try to hide something from a Sentinel." Blair rolled his eyes. "Did I mention that being with you has it's downsides?" 

"Yes. On several occasions. Now would you please get to the point?" 

"Yeah, alright. Remember River?" 

"The telepath guy? Yeah. Did you talk to him after the Ice Skating thing?" 

"Yeah. He was in bed for almost a week after that, by the way. Took him a while to regain his strength. But he did, finally." 

"Great. What about him?" 

"Well, I was thinking maybe he could help you." 

"Help me what?" Jim's voice was dangerous, but Blair ignored it and plodded on. 

"Help you control your senses. He has a lot of experience with getting people to develop their abilities, you know. And with his.. emm ... power, well, he might really be able to help you." He said. 

"Oh right. Yeah, I'll just go and say 'Please please mess with my mind!'" Jim said angrily. 

"Look, it's not like that. He won't do anything to hurt you. He probably won't even do anything permanent. Just think about it, Jim." 

"I don't have to think about it. I don't want anyone inside my brain, got it?" 

"Yeah, well, you'll just have to go on being tortured by your senses then, because I can't think of any other way to deal with them." Blair said. 

"I'm sure if you try you'll find something. And even if you don't, I'd rather live with this then let anyone mess with me. Especially him." Jim got up, plopped his share of the bill on the table and left. As he was leaving he heard Blair whispering 

"Well, maybe I'm not willing to live with it." 

* * *

When Jim got to the loft it was empty. After their altercation at lunch, Blair had obviously not come to the precinct with Jim, and apparently he had not gone home, either. Jim tried to tell himself that it was fine, that he didn't really want to see Blair right now, but he was still worried. He wanted Blair in the loft, where Jim knew he was safe. 

Jim hit the answering machine button eagerly. The first message was from Steven, something about getting together for dinner. Jim packed it away and stored it for future remembrance. The second message was from Blair. He was working late. He might stay at a colleague's house tonight, or he might come home, but very late. Jim sighed. While Blair wasn't outright lying, Jim knew that work was somewhat of a manufactured excuse so that Blair didn't have to come home. With a sigh Jim went into the bathroom, only half listening to the other messages. He was just about to get into the shower when the fifth message caught him by surprise 

"Jim, this is Adrian. River's boyfriend. I was wondering if we could get together and talk. Blair came here this afternoon, and wanted to talk to River, but he's out of town for the night. He told me the whole thing, and, well, I know I have no right to ask you this but could we please, please get together and talk? Neither Blair nor River know I'm calling you. Please call me back as soon as you can..." 

Jim stepped out of the shower, rewound the tape and listened to the message again. He couldn't believe it. Adrian had called him. On his own accord. For that reason only, Jim had to return the call. He would, of course, decline the offer to meet. There wasn't anything Adrian could say that would make Jim change his mind. As far as he was concerned, dealing with River was like having brain surgery, and that wasn't something he was willing to do unless he was in mortal danger. 

Still, he had to give Adrian credit for caring enough to call. Not that it was actually any of his business, but still. Jim went over what he knew about Adrian. Almost nothing: he was a student at Rainier's, he was River's boyfriend, and he was one hell of an ice skater. Jim smiled at his own reaction. A year ago, he would have been outraged at the intrusion on his privacy, at the rudeness of someone who was practically a stranger to him offering to help. 'Blair must be rubbing off on me.' He thought with a smile. 

Jim picked up the phone and dialed the number that was in the message. Adrian answered. 

"Adrian? It's Jim." 

"Oh, great. I'm really glad you called." 

"Yeah, look, it's really nice that you're concerned and all, but I really don't think we need to get together or anything. There's no way you're going to change my mind." 

"Jim, please. You didn't see Blair. He was really worried about you. He wanted River to talk to you, but I know that's a bad idea. I know that talking to River is kind of intimidating, because you never know if he's really convinced you or if he just forced you to agree with him. I can see that's a problem. But I can't do anything to you. I'm not even sure I can even read your mind without your permission, ok? All I'm asking is that you see me. I can come over right now, if you want." 

"No! No. Look, I don't know what Blair is all worried about. I'm having trouble with my senses. It's nothing we haven't been through before. We can handle it just fine on our own." 

Jim could hear Adrian's sigh on the other end of the line. 

"Alright. I can't force you. I just don't think Blair agrees with your assessment of things. Bye, Jim." 

"Bye." Jim muttered and hung up. 

* * *

Jim drove through the dark streets, looking for the right address. He had been tossing and turning all night, thinking about his conversation with Adrian, thinking about Blair. When the latter hadn't come home, Jim decided that maybe it couldn't hear what Adrian had to say. And besides, he was pretty sure that he would probably find Blair at Adrian and River's. 

Not, he told himself, that he was anymore willing to let River do anything to him than he was before. It was just that if Blair was so worried about Jim's reaction to the sensory thing, maybe there really more to it than Jim thought. Blair wasn't one to get into unwarranted hysterics. He was also not one to make idle statements. Blair's words from the restaurant kept repeating themselves to Jim. 'Maybe I'm not willing to live with it.' That was what finally drove Jim to get up. Because if there was one thing he feared more than anything, it was loosing Blair. 

Jim turned into Adams St., and pulled over before number 31. It wasn't a large house, but nice. The upper-middle class urban dream. River's job apparently paid well, Jim thought. He got out of the car and went up to the doorway. He knocked on it quickly, knowing that if he waited, he would change his mind. 

Much to his surprised, the door was opened almost instantly, by a fully clothed Adrian. 

"Jim!" He said with surprise. 

"Hi. Can I come in?" Jim asked. 

"Yeah, yeah, sure. Come in. I was just making some coffee. You want?" 

"Thanks. Black, no sugar." Jim muttered, and followed Adrian into the living room. 

"Please, sit down. I'll be right back." Adrian said. Jim simply nodded. 

Jim waited for a moment, listening to the sounds in the kitchen. When he heard a 'Blair, Jim's here', he smiled. At least he knew where Blair was. Satisfied, he looked around him. The room was very modern. The walls were a light blue, the furniture made up of plain and colorful wood, intermixed with metal in clean lines. It was, for the most part, spotlessly clean. The only exceptions were the book case, which was in a state of chaos, and a familiar mess of text books and papers on the table, which marked it as the home of a student. 

Adrian came back in carrying two mugs. No Blair, Jim noted with disappointment. 

"He's here." Jim said, quietly. 

"Yeah. He doesn't want to come, though." Adrian sighed and sat down. Jim did likewise. 

"Well, you said you wanted to talk to me." Jim said. "So talk." 

"Ok. Ok." Adrian said, more than a little disconcerted. He swallowed hard, and began. 

"As you know, I started off as River's student. If you would have asked me 8 months ago if I believed in telepathy, I would have laughed in your face. I always had a knack for understanding people, for knowing when they were lying to me, but that's hardly mind reading, is it? It's good people reading skills. My dad was always a good people-reader. I assumed I'd picked it up from him. 

"Then two people from the ISPP came to me, and told me I was a telepath. Only very weak, they said, and after a while I believed them, and agreed to be taught, as long as I didn't have to leave the university. So they sent a teacher over, and within two weeks, I was becoming more then she could handle. My mind reading was going crazy. She didn't know what it could possibly be. And then, one day, River showed up. 

"He told me they had made a mistake, that I was in fact a relatively powerful telepath, but for some reason I wasn't letting it grow to it's full potential. But by then I was already sort of comfortable with the weak telepathy thing. My mind just wouldn't progress ahead of it, and River helped me. I wasn't happy about it, but he didn't do anything except help me get over the walls I'd built. I'm still not all the way there, but I'm getting there." 

"Beautiful." Jim said sarcastically. "Where are you going with this?" 

"What happened to me, with my telepathy, is sort of like what's happening with your senses. You're afraid you'll lose control if you progress any further, and you ending up losing it now instead. And River can really help you, like he helped me. Only with you it should be easier, since you're used to the whole hyper-senses thing. Don't think I don't know it's scary. I know it's hard to let someone into your mind. I know because at every junction I think about it, because sometimes I have to wonder if he isn't making me love him. But I know he's not." 

"Yeah, well, even supposing I'd believe he wouldn't do anything to harm me... I don't know... it feels like cheating. It's not natural. If I'm supposed to control my senses, then I'm supposed to control them myself, not because someone else told me to." Jim said. 

"Oh, but that's not how it's like. He make you control your senses. He just helps you develop your own control over them." 

"Yeah, ok. I still don't see why I need to do this. I can do perfectly fine just the way I am." 

"No, you can't, Jim!" Blair said, standing in the kitchen doorway. Jim cursed himself for not noticing he had come in. 

"Sure I can. WE can, Blair. We've been through everything together. You think we can't handle this?" 

"Yes. That's exactly what I think. Jim, I love you more than anything. That's why I'm doing this. I can see how it kills you inside every time you nearly lose a suspect because of your senses. You get depressed, and I can't stand to see you like that. And what if you do lose a suspect? What if you accidentally get someone killed? Last time that happened you lost your senses. What happens this time? You'll start taking it out on yourself. Maybe you'll take it out on other people, maybe even on me. And as much as I love, as much as it kills me to see you hurt, as much as it would be nearly impossible for me to live without you, I'm not gonna stay to be abused if it comes to that. And it will come to that if you don't do something about your senses going out of control." 

There were tears in Blair's eyes, and they tore at Jim's heart. As much as he resented the implication that he would ever hurt Blair, he couldn't ignore it. His mind went back to the Jim Ellison of 'before Blair'. The Jim Ellison that had managed to alienate everyone he met, including his own wife. The Jim Ellison that would go ballistic at the slightest provocation. He knew that if he became that Jim again he would lose Blair, just as he had lost Carolyn, only he could live with losing Carolyn. He couldn't live with losing Blair. He looked from Blair, to Adrian, and back. 

"There's no other way?" He asked Blair, his eyes pleading. "Nothing in some obscure book, some ancient manuscript?" 

"I'm sorry, Jim. I've looked everywhere. It doesn't say anything about it, except that if a Sentinel lost control and the Shaman couldn't cure him, he would be sentenced to death." 

"But if the Shaman had a cure, then there must be a way..." Jim said hopefully. Blair shook his head. 

"It was the same idea. It was some kind of trance ritual, probably involving chants, drugs, and pain. The result was the same as we would get with River - putting the Sentinel in a certain state of mind. The ancient way would not only be longer, messier, and with less chance for success, but it would most likely involve illegal drugs and stuff like that." 

The silence in the room was thick, tangible. Jim just looked at Blair. Then on the floor. He didn't know what to do, except that he couldn't possibly lose Blair. 

"Jim," Blair whispered, "if there was any other way, I wouldn't have offered you this one. I know how hard it would be for you. But please... please. I can't think of being without you." He had moved closer during the conversation, and now he was standing right next to Jim. 

"Alright." Jim said finally, getting. "Just please come home with me." He put his arm around Blair, slowly. Blair just fell against Jim's chest, hugging him tight. 

* * *

Jim's stomach was in a knot. He had faced war, death, and a host of Cascade's finest criminals. He had been in any number of life threatening situations, and faced them head on, without fear Yet here he was, just about ready to part with breakfast over this thing. He knew exactly why. It was because he was entirely passive. There was nothing he could do to save himself. He couldn't beat the hell out of anyone, he couldn't climb anything, shoot anything. There was no adrenaline rush to hide the fear. It was him, and the young blonde who was about to take control of his mind. Blair was sitting in the corner, observing. 

"Do you want to get started, or would you like some water or something?" River was asking. 

"Let's just get this over with." Jim said. 

"OK. Just take a deep breath, and relax." River's voice was completely normal. No whisperings, no dramatic hand movements. Still, the minute he'd said the words, Jim's stomach suddenly calmed down. His fear seemed to melt away. "Just close your eyes, get comfortable. Don't fall asleep, just let go of your thoughts for a while." River continued, and Jim did just as he said. His eyes closed, on their own accord. His head became silent. 

"Great. Now just focus on your senses, one by one, and let them go. Let all the sounds just fade away, let go of the scents, of the feelings, of the flavors. The only things that exist as far as you're concerned are your inner-self, and my voice. Now we're going to start with one sense, and build it up to all five. It's completely safe. You aren't going to zone out, nothing will happen. You will put no boundaries on yourself. Let's start with touch. Notice the couch you're sitting on it. Feel it. First normally, and then start zooming your sense out, until you can't feel in any more detail, until your sense of touch is being used to the fullest. Experiment with it. You have no psychological inhibitions now. You have in you the technical capability to completely control your senses, and you're going to use it now, until you feel like you have it down." 

Jim focused first on his hand. He felt the fabric of the couch, felt the lumps beneath it. He noticed every single individual thread, the way it pressed against his arm. And then suddenly his perception grew. At once he could feel with the same intensity the fabric of his clothes all over his body, the rush of the air against his skin. He knew it should confuse him, this assortment of feelings, but it didn't. He could feel each one, understand it completely and individually. Surprised, he played with the sensations. He let them fade in and out in different places, played with the intensity. It was so simple, so natural. 

"Now add in taste." River said suddenly. "Don't loose the touch, but focus on the different tastes in your mouth. 

* * *

Sitting in his corner, Blair suddenly whispered "Can I ask you something, River?" 

"Of course. You don't have to whisper. He can't hear you." 

"At all?" Blair asked, surprised. Although he was well acquainted with River's power, it still amazed him. 

"At all." 

"Well, right now, from the looks of it, he's feeling things really intensely. I mean, I don't know, but it seems like it." 

"Oh yeah. It's fascinating. I didn't know he could get to that much detail, or that much control over it." 

"See, that's just what I'm wondering. Right now, he's fine. He can control everything, he's not afraid, because you told him not to be. But when he's not under your power, well, won't he zone out or something? Won't he still be afraid?" 

" No. See, he might be afraid, but he'll know he can control his senses at full swing, so why be afraid? It'll defeat itself. He won't zone out. I doubt in a completely aware state he'll really get to this intensity, or to this level of control. Right now he's just sitting around and playing around, like all it takes is some kind of control panel, turn the sense off here, turn it up there, mix them together. It's not going to be like that, but knowing that under certain circumstances he can do that should be enough. The 'freak outs' will stop. Should make for some interesting research, too, the new control and all." River smiled. 

"Oh, yeah." 

* * *

Within 30 minutes Jim was juggling four senses at full swing, and it wasn't much harder than juggling one. Even the fact that his eyes were open didn't in any way detract from the relaxation, or the complete focus on his senses. He was looking out the balcony window, completely ignoring River and Blair's existence. 

"Ok, Jim. You're doing great. Now I want to add hearing. This is the hardest one, because of the actual physical pain it can cause. But don't worry. You can do it. When you get to the point where you're causing yourself pain or damage, just stop. You'll know that you're feeling pain, but it won't actually hurt. It won't break your concentration. Try to enlarge your range, and the detail of what you're hearing, without the volume of nearby sounds becoming louder." 

With five senses things indeed became more difficult. Still, Jim didn't have any problem handling them. If he wanted to focus on one sense to the fullest, he did have to lessen his perception in the other four, but not nearly to the point of losing them. He was just about to start working on 'piggybacking' one sense on the other, like Blair had taught him, when River suddenly said 

"Ok. Let go. Relax, sleep." And Jim's world went dark. 

* * *

"Did you have to do that?" Blair asked, looking at the sleeping Jim. 

"Yes. It'll make his transition into an aware state much easier. Trust me." 

"If you say so. So, what now?" 

"Well, he should be fine now. You'll have some more work with him, of course. A lot more. But he shouldn't be having any more accidents. I'm going to wake him up, but I should be gone by the time he's awake." 

"Oh, why's that?" Blair asked. 

"Because I'm not sure I want to be here when he wakes up. What with his senses almost on overdrive and you here, need I say more?" River smiled. "I'll be at the Starbucks down the street if you need me, but somehow, I doubt you will." 

"Right. Thank you so much, River. Really." 

"No problem." River said. He whispered a few words to Jim, said his good-byes and left. 

* * *

The minute the door closed Jim woke up. For a moment he was disoriented, but then he remembered what had happened. Very slowly and carefully he opened his senses to the fullest, just to see if he could really do it on his own. Instantly he could hear Blair's heart pounding behind him, faster than usual. The kid's probably nervous to see how it's turned out, Jim thought. He detected dozens of different scents in the air, and intermingled with those, but in a class of its own, was the group of scents that were Blair. 

Jim had noticed it before, but never like this. Almost against his will, he focused on it, trying to separate it into it's particles. It was the scent of shampoo and soap, of pencils and ink, of a myriad of other things, and Jim knew that if he sat there long enough, he could discover exactly which scent was what. He also knew, that even if you mixed all those smells together, you could never reproduce exactly the scent of Blair. Jim inhaled deeply, absorbing it all, and then suddenly it was as though the scent was shooting in to his groin, driving him crazy, burning him. 

He quickly got up and moved towards Blair. It seemed as though Jim could see every single vein under Blair's skin, and he wanted to kiss every single one of them, if only he could. Jim's body was spinning out of control, but not his senses. For the first time he wasn't afraid to zone out, and he the input he was getting from his senses was intoxicating. He could smell the arousal, now coming from Blair as well as himself. He could hear Blair's heartbeat growing ever faster, and his breathing getting heavier, and he could see Blair in his incredible beauty, and he wanted him like he'd never wanted anything in his life. He wanted to love Blair with all five senses at full speed. 

Without thinking, he ran to Blair and lifted him into a kiss. The flavors exploded in Jim's mouth, and although as with the scents he could separate them into their parts, here too there was something that was uniquely Blair. 

Still kissing, Jim picked Blair up and carried him up the stairs and onto the bed. He felt Blair's hands over his over-sensitized skin, undressing him, sending shocks of pleasure into his groin. His hands were doing the same to Blair, longing to feel and taste and see and smell every single bit of Blair's body. Blair moaned under the feel of Jim's hands, and the moan was like another log thrown into the fire of Jim's passion. 

Lost in the sensation, Jim could barely tell where he ended and Blair began. Sensations were coming in from all of his senses, driving him into a paradise of chaos. He couldn't tell one detail from the other, only that each one in its turn drove him further and further into insanity, closer and closer to the verge. And then it seemed he forgot to breath as Blair's hands reached his groin, touching it gently, prolonging the pleasure, and finally bringing Jim to the point where he could no longer contain himself. Feeling electricity course through his body, he came with a moan. Seconds later, Blair did the same. 

Laying back, Jim closed his eyes and dialed back his other senses, knowing that any more stimulation would kill him. He could feel Blair snuggling up against him, still panting. Behind his shut eyelids, Jim could feel the room darkening as the sun set. 

"Blair?" Jim whispered. 

"What, love?" 

"I just wanted to say, about the last few weeks... the way I've been behaving..." 

"Don't worry. You're forgiven." Blair said. Jim sighed in relief, and then he felt Blair smile against his chest. "At least, if we keep having sex like this, you're forgiven." the younger man said. 

-The End- 

* * *

End Senses & Sensibilities . 


End file.
